The closest thing...

I've always wanted an older sibling. Preferably a brother. 

I think being his slave and punching bag would be worth it if the expectations aren't as high as without. 

And that is why I was a bit irked when my mother sent a spiteful message for..I don't know what he is to me now but let's just call him Gizmo. On his birthday! Which was six days ago mind you. I usually just let things concerning him go after like, a couple of hours but this was just too much. 

You see, seven years ago my mum had this perfect student. He was a polite, thoughtful and well-mannered prefect with  mildly excellent results. His name..is Gizmo - ofcourse not but I'd rather not say his real name. 

My mum was close with all her students. Particularly her 2007 year six students. So almost every holiday breaks, a bunch of them would stay at our home for fun. My mum would treat them like her own children. Well, almost. But yeah. We were close. We played together alot you know. Were being the key word there. After they graduated from primary school, we drifted apart. But not Gizmo. He still hung out in our humble home every now and then with different buddies every time. 

Gizmo's mom passed away. His dad remarried. The only family he had was his sister. If you guys are wondering, he was living with his - I am really not sure what relations they have but yeah - 'brothers'. He didn't go out much cos his 'brothers' had families of their own. And so, my mum would bring him along to celebrate our special occasions like birthdays and whatnot. To watch movies, picnics, parks.  He would even sometimes tag along during our Hari Raya visits. He also calls my parents the way I call them. He was the closest thing I have to a brother. And we weren't even that close. 

But that was a long, long time ago. Some time during his high school years, he got a girlfriend. Like any other typical teenage boys, he changed. He was no longer polite, kind and differently good. He was the same 'poklen' kinda guys. His grades were falling. He didn't show his care much about his religion - which upsets my mum the most. His cute and adorable (he was really, really cute as a kid) changed into...I'd rather not say. Basically everything about him changed. And he was not the least bit guilty about it. 

He and my mum got into a fight one day. After that, he stopped contacting my mum and vise versa. I didn't know why, but I got a bit lonely when he wasn't around. I used to say I didn't appreciate his company but really I was just in denial. I like him around. Eventho he never made an effort to make a longer conversation with me but that was okay too. Being around him makes me feel I have a brother - distant brother, but a brother nonetheless. 

And so the silent treatment continued since...I don't really remember when...until recently. He sent a text to my mum. Saying he was sorry and all for being an imbecile and how he waited for the right time to text her. Unfortunately my mum thought that it was not enough. She had said that "he wasn't what she had expected him to be." I used to agree with what she said but the longer I thought about it, the more sympathy I feel towards him. He told my mum about not having anyone else to talk to about his problems - he is now staying with his father who is really mean to him (I think. Well that was what he said) - and that was enough for me to feel sorry for him and take his side. Yes I do agree with my mother that he has to prove his sincerity in apologizing but saying his faults on his birthday was just plain mean. 

I don't want to take his side but I just can't help it. He sounded so helpless that I just want those years of him being in this family to replay themselves over and over again. 

So Gizmo, if you're reading this, try to swallow your humongous ego and just apologize sincerely. I can help you if you want. Goodluck! I'm sure you miss me too. Haha..okay sorry if I made it awkward. 

I can't believe I didn't come across these sooner!

So there's this couple I've been shipping for like, two years. Yet I haven't been able to fully express it because I am not acquainted with any Mergana shippers. At all. How sad is that. Well
 I do know a couple but over time they chose to pair Katie up with Bradley. Like, what? That's just incest. Well it's actually not but it's still weird. It's like pairing up Bonnie with Rupert. See? Weird, right? 

So yeah I resorted to go online to satisfy my needs to spazz. Tho it's not as satisfying as actually talking about it in real life. Gosh whatever. Anyway I found this vid which was posted ages ago - okay, about thirteen months ago. 

And this too! I'm pretty sure it's a manip - or not - but a girl can dream. 

I found a few - okay a lot - of Mergana fanfics but none of them was as good as...I want them to be. But meh. Their interviews were okay enough. 

Aww I've missed them in Merlin. Before season 4 atleast.

Teething probs..not quite.

Hey. 

You know when your friend stops confiding her problems to you, it does not mean she doesn't want to. She may give you LOTS of incredulous excuses to cover up for the real reasons that may or may not be told. It's not easy to just sit back and watch someone you care about worry. Okay it may be easy for you, but it may not. Whatever the situation is, just calm down and analyze the situation properly. Some tasks might actually be accomplished that way. 

Alright! I decided to just go with the quiz. Thought it'd be fun. 

I watched Thor 2 last week! It was okay. 

I installed a stupid software this morning. Unsuccessfully. Becos the damn software got damaged and corrupted right after I used it once. ONCE! I HAD to like, waste my time to repair it. In the end, it still didn't work so I uninstalled it. I I re-installed it and as you can probably guess, it still wouldn't work. Grrrr I could not open certain files without it! So I had to use other laptops. Which again took the time I was supposed to use for Math revision. The files cannot wait okay? 

And so I was late. I lost track of the time and I was late for the exam. Well, not that late. But late. I was and still is sick today so I was sweating the entire two hours. Yet the external or internal or whatever part of my body feels cold. And I feel nauseous. And I kept screaming mentally in agony because I just can't process what the question wants. Due to the seemingly difficult task my brain was doing at keeping my insides at bay. Ew, I know. And since I ran all the way to the hall okay not all the way I heart was beating irregularly. Weirdly. Unusually. Thus I was anxious so yeah. And the hall was full of people. My place was far from the doors. Furthermore they were closed! So yeah, my lungs fail take in sufficient oxygen for several moments in between the pages. Man I really need to exercise more. And man I need to get a life and stop complaining. Not that I don't alr have one. Well I need another to keep me occupied..not. I so don't need another. 

Anyway I feel really, really bad for not being able to be there. Since I didn't do well either - and it was MATH! - I couldn't. So tell me how to make it up to you. I will do anything. And by anything, I mean anything. 

COCI coccus.

Wassup!

To think I would be able to have a normal, peaceful day today. I managed to get rid of almost all of my negative thoughts on the exam, seeing as I only need to "work on my skill" for Geo. Not that it's super duper hard. Esp when I don't know where to start. In case the sarcasm goes unnoticed, I don't really mean the hard comment. 

Anywaaaay, I was flicking through some boring channels when the phone suddenly rang. Thought it would be some extra classes or smth but nooooooo. It was a Malaysian woman asking for my dad. So I thought. It was my teacher, in some kind of accent. Anyway she told my dad about this Asean quiz going on and I'm going to be taking part in it. Okay I was like, what. Me? Suddenly taking part in an outside activity? Where the hay did that come from? Thought the sch is dead-set on preventing me from participating in any kind of ecas. Well I guess I was proven wrong. 

But then again, I don't think so. Because when my sister got home she told me about this English sir at our school who claimed to know me. He was like, "Hey I know your sister. I mentored her when she was a participant of this wordplay competition last two years with three others. We got eighth place." Well actually sir, we were at seventh. Not that it made much difference. And then he went saying that our school was banned from participating in that competition the year afterwards and so on. And I was like, really? Our school banned, or our school was banned? And does it have anything to do with the fact that our sch lost? Cos I think our school body has a like, determination to get rid off all things causing humiliations - including humans, maybe. Idk. I'm just being a smartass here. But whatever. Hope no one from our sch reads this. Hahah. Which I don't have to worry about anyway. 

So back to this Asean quiz. I'm not even sure if I want to participate! After knowing Suamp banned - or was banned - from entering this wordplay competition. What if I lose? I always lose quizzes. My only excuse: I only do it for fun so I don't take every one of them seriously. I cannot use that excuse again now can I? But ugh. I thought I was blacklisted from taking parts in any ecas! Now my mind-set is going to get wild again! Thanks to this over-thinking gene I get from someone! Stupid pensive moods. Anyway should I take part? I really don't want to. Seeing as suamp has this craze for good reputations. Yeah every sch has it but this sch is serious. Well that's the way I see it anyway. So let's get to the pros and cons of participating. 

Pros: 
Nothing really. Just maybe because I hate withdrawing. 

Cons:
-It has three stages in which I hate all. The first is written and suck at that. Cos I just cannot seem to take written quizzes seriously. The second is like, I don't know. But it'll be aired on RTB. I hate public attention, not that I think I'll pass stage one cos I can't even beat Mahad last time, let alone MS! Okay now I remember that goddamn awful day! I don't have any excuses for our loss, just that we didn't take it seriously. We're not serious people okay? 

-I know I will lose. But if I do win - which I'm sure is only possible if it snows in Bru - I have to compete against nine other countries with two strangers as my teammates! In Vietnam! Ratio of the things I don't mind to things I do, is like, 1:2 here. I don't mind competing because I like competitions. But I hate strangers. And I hate travelling. 

-If I lose, the disappointment and embarrassment would be too much for me to handle. 

-It starts at the end of Nov which is supposed to be my break and I refuse to get my brain all worked up again after struggling with four major exams this year! 

I think the result is obvious here. But heck I love competitions. And I'm not sure how to tell my teacher I don't want to take part. Well that can be solved by asking my mom to call her. Then again, she would say something embarrassing to her seeming as she had already made clear to us that it was her life's second motto nowadays. So I would have to tell her myself which will often result in me chickening out and just go through it and will later regret it when I lose. 

Don't get me wrong. I do not mind losing. But this is like, an international quiz! I never go that far! I'm not crazy! Okay maybe I am, a little but ugh. What am I rambling about. 

I need a sign! Anything! 

Feeble.

I am so bored today.

I know I'm supposed to be doing revisions for Geo tomorrow but...I don't know. Well I was. Until I finally gave in to the temptation of switching on my laptop. So pathetic. But I'll get back to Geo tho...eventually. I hope. 

Alright. Since there aren't much to do since facebook is like, old now and twitter is, not fun anymore, I resorted to reading my old posts. Gosh could I get even more pathetic than that. 

Anyway back to my posts. I've never actually read them. I just usually click post and now I regretted not considering to cancel them. But too late to change that now. Like I care. 
It was like they were written by..not me. Okay okay, that's a lie. But seriously I don't even remember who I was talking about in those posts. I attempted to delete them, but meh. Let it be a reminder of my even more pathetic old self.

Looks like I can be even more pathetic.


And can we learn how to control our tears? Course we can but some things are not so easy to resist. Like, is crying even worth it? How is it that people manage to do things they despise and when they actually want to do it, they can't? The world is so weird. 

Giving forgiveness is supposedly easy when it comes to someone you love, right? But they say that when someone they care about hurts them, it's even more painful when it's from someone you don't care. Yes it's true, because why do you care if someone you hate hurts you anyway. But if you truly love someone, wouldn't you be willing to sacrifice everything for them? Let alone forgiveness. 

And yes, I did not come up with that myself. I had help. From a little thing called experience.

And that, is the closing of this lousy...whatever this is.  

The sextet

Okay I somehow got out from being a Queen's early this year. But somehow I watched their latest MVs and..they're back! Well, maybe. "Because I know" is actually pretty good. If it's compared to their previous songs - sexy love and watnot - that is. 

And well done CCM, Boram and Qri finally got more lines. I'm actually happy for them. And Qri's a leader nooow. Congrats to her.  

I still don't get what the articles are saying about Dani cos mostly they're about things Idc but what I do wanna know a little, okay very little is that is she gonna be the 7th member? Pls say no.  

Anyway enough about them. 

And enough for this post also. 

Hydrogen Peroxide with KI

Okay. Today's exam iiiiis Chemistry 3! Will depart to school at like, ten or smth. If I come early, no one would be there anyway. And I'd be like, alone. 

I just wanna ask, how do we differentiate Lead with Aluminium anyway? Like, the results of the reactions between the two cations with both reagents (NaOH and aq ammonia) are the same! But yeah. Guess lead won't be it since it never came out. Is it even included in the syllabus. Oh god what if it does come out?! Please don't come out lead! Just stay in your cozy habitat and sleep til the end of the day. Alright then. Wish me luck! 

If redox reaction does come out, it'd be cool to try the above experiment, don't you think? 

Lachowski!

So Wattpad's got me hooked up again. That up there is from this story that's yet to be finished so I haven't started reading it. But Francisco was chosen to cast as the main character of the book and he is just too darn cute. Sometimes. 

Check it out. The blurb doesn't seem too bad, I guess. Altho, the prologue might be a little..erotic. 

Kidnapped To Be Married

Unfortunate

So we went to The Mall today. The occasion was and still is unknown. Just for fun, maybe. 

Okay maybe not. My mom wanted to go to this electronic store to..I'm not sure why. And there were so many typical displays of iProducts. It was REALLY awkward becos I had to stand in the middle of the store waiting for my mum to finish whatever she was doing. So I wandered around. 

My bro told my mum to get him an iPad if he were to be the top student. And we were like, at your age?! Okay he wasn't THAT young but I got my first device when I was eleven! And he was only..not eleven yet! He even threatened to flunk the exams if my mum didn't agree. Okay that's a lie but something along those lines really happened. 

And my sister, who by the way kindly told my mum how I was spoiled. I was not spoiled thank you very much! I had to PERSUADE them, okay? Seriously that girl and her 'the family's unfairness' speeches. She even wanted to have a Macbook pro or whatever for her gift. Like omg really? NOT COMPATIBLE. But meh, her choices. 

Kids these days.

Anyway I just...my laptop is just not the same anymore. It's really, really slow! And I'm known for my impatience! Not to mention the shortcut keys don't work anymore! And the webcam got uninstalled and that worker forgot to install it back! The screensaver doesn't work either no matter how many times I tried to change the settings. And my games are gone. So sad. I got it back from my dad's disk but the all the data are corrupted. OH WELL. 

And oh the touch pad still doesn't work. -.- Nothing serious tho. 

Alright that's all the complaints I got for today :) Bye. 

Gained and lost

I finally got my laptop fixed and returned to me today. My hard disk was corrupted so they had to replace it. Hence I lost all my data. Well technically I didn't because my dad had it copied on his disk but he lost the usb so I don't have any access to it either way. 

I didn't really mind tho. WHAT I DO MIND IS THAT I CANNOT ACCESS MY PHONE!

Ahhh, it's like when I got a new ok not really new phone my laptop wouldn't start. And now that it's repaired, it's my fricking phone's turn to sulk. Srsly guys I'll pay equal attention to both of you. Okay maybe not but you really don't have to pout. 

I don't really mind having a broken phone. Okay it's not broken. I just can't unlock it. Wanna know why? Oh I'll tell you why anyway. 

I got tired of using letters as my phone security lock so I decided to use pattern. I forgot that if we tried too many patterns it would eventually ask for our Google Acc. So I let my sister guess what the password was. As you can guess, it reached the limit for tries. I was at my granny's house which didn't have any wi-fi and I haven't topped up my account but I tried anyway. It kept saying the account was invalid so I quit trying until I got home. And when I got home, I forgot I switched off the wi-fi to save battery so I don't have any internet access! But still, I tried. It still won't work! So I used my laptop to get my e-mail fixed but the screen still said it was invalid! Srsly what is wrong with it! And I tried rebooting it but it just won't work! So I'm mad at my sister right now. And my phone is currently lying somewhere in my nasty room. 

Any other day I would just laugh at myself and thank god for not allowing me to access it becos it is a serious distraction but now I REALLY need to talk to my best friend! So yeah. I'm pretty angry about it. 

I don't care much tho, because I finally have my baby back! As in, my laptop.

So yeah, cheerios! 

Dear markers,

My recent exam was Physics Practical. I really, really screw up. I'm gonna flunk that paper! Na'udzubillah... I need to score in Physics! Please Cambridge markers! Be kind. Okay whatever I know there's no hope anymore. 

Howdy

Okay it has been four months since I last updated. Obviously I was busy. 

My life had been attending a non-stop exam festivals. It was fun. Note the sweet, sweet sarcasm.

My June result was unexpected. But really I keep asking myself what is the point of taking June? People say it's for preparing ourselves for Nov but srsly? I don't think it works. Like, both the Malay orals in June and Qualifying had different format than in Nov. AND IT WAS UNEXPECTED LIKE WTH. Ofc I didn't do so well. I panicked ok. I had the reading oral first and I didn't do well either becos I was SO distracted. Like really distracted. So my hopes were crushed becos I knew I couldn't count on the other papers. But I thought coolly answering the questions for the second part of the oral would help. And suddenly the teacher just told me to talk about the fricking economy for a full 5 minutes. Meh I kept repeating my points and did some pretty exaggerated hand gestures. It must be really hard for the examiner not to laugh. What did I tell you? June and Qualifyings did not prepare us for what was coming in Nov. And even worse, this friend of mine - who would very much likely be one of the top students to receive LOTS OF AWARDS - had to gush on how easy her session went. Okay not exactly gushed but meh. Oh well, who am I to complain. I took it for granted. 

But before that, SPUB ORALS! Maigod my Arabic oral sucked. And the worse part is, right after I stepped out of my oral session, I had thousands of sentences to share. Too bad. My Quran didn't go so well either. Gosh I practiced for like...a week for that. And that's a record. For the longest period of revision. Ha ha. 

AND THE WRITTEN EXAMS WERE EVEN WORSE! I can't remember having to exit the hall feeling ecstatic. Only worry, irate and the urge to cry. Well I did cry. Oh Allah please let my results be excellent! 

And now I'm in the middle of the Olevel exams. Yet here I am blogging. It's unbelievable how un-seriously I'm taking this exam! It's scary me tbh! I hate it. It's weird. Like I've spent most of my time playing Typer shark. Stupid game, and now I'm blogging. And I'm pretty sure I'll be signing in Wattpad after this. Really how is this even possible! This isn't me! This really isn't me! 

I need help. Pronto. 

Pricked.

I have never been this confused so far in my fifteen years of life. And boys aren't even involved in my life yet.


How I wish life comes with an instruction booklet. 

Why is blaming ourselves part of our nature? Can't we analyze the situation carefully, THEN conclude whose fault all these are? Can't we just talk it all out and settle this? Cos really I'm tired of being pushed around by your dramatic sentences and texts. 

I'm not even a 100% sure why you aren't talking to me on the first place. Sure I've changed. I know that. But people change. And if our friendship is that special to you as you have claimed it to be, you wouldn't let those changes affect it. 

And how is not talking still makes us friends? And is it really for the best? 

Just stop all your ridiculous shenanigans and take the bull by its horns.

Surely it isn't too much to ask. 

Urge.

It's been awhile. Oh what to do. I've longed to post stuff though. I'm just not sure what kinda stuff. 

You know that feeling when you just wanna scream at a person? Shout all your bothering thoughts about her? Well lately, I've been having those urges. Unfortunately I just don't have the heart to do so. I don't even know why. Usually I would just hurl things at them. But now it seems risky. Which is funny since I've got nothing to lose anymore. 

Maybe that's a lie, maybe it isn't. Words aren't always exact when it comes to emotions. Maybe I think it's because I thought I lost everything and failed to see what I have now. You know what they say, you won't know what you have until you lose it.

Well, I lost it. 

Ok. I know that's a tad too short but hey. Life's short. Ain't nothing we have to do cos of it. 

Filler post.

Heyya guys. How are you doing? Well I hope you're handling life alot better than me. I mean, handling life maturely is just not my thing you know? And for those who are having a hard time surviving, just remember you're not alone. 

So I've managed to survive school. That wasn't really unbelievable since Oct/Nov aren't here yet. Is it wrong of me to wish for them not to come? 

Honestly, I'm so tired and sick of being upset all the time. 
Can anyone please cheer me up in whatever ways possible? Crazy and ridiculous tactics included. I mean, even though I just wanna be cheerful and bubbly all the time, somehow I just can't. No matter how much I try, most of them were just...fake. 

The worst thing is, I don't know the reason. Well maybe I do but I just don't wanna say it out loud. Becos reality hurts. And saying it aloud just makes it more real. AND DID I MENTION I HATE REALITY?!

Ok that was a bit mental. Perhaps very mental. But whatever. Too tired to care. Constant pressure does that to you, I guess. 

I can feel myself changing. I just hate changes, although it's bound to happen every once in awhile. Never failed to catch me off-guard tho. Everytime. 

Okay my life is srsly unorganized. Gosh I need a break. Pronto. 

*APPARATES TO A WHOLE NEW WORLD* 

Regrets

Waiting has never been pleasant.

All those overwhelming feelings you experience, you can never be immune.

The worries they might not come. The anxiety due to the thoughts that they might come.

The hollow feeling in your chest that only them can seemingly fill.

I had never and will never like the feeling. 

I've waited patiently for you to see. But no. You chose negligence. Over all those other possibilities. 
I may seem fine about it, but really, everything just seem so dark and sad. 
Pure happiness is never really there. 
I just want all our times together to be replayed. 
But all I can do is want. Nothing else could be done. 

If only we chose other alternatives from the start. 

PCA 2013

Hey I just found out Andrew Garfield's mom is an English woman. God his accent is so sexy. No surprises there. And I'm obsessed with "Stonefield" right now. I'm not talking about that particular band by the way. I'm talking bout Emma & Andrew.  I had even abandoned my schedule for today just to go on Youtube and search them. Heh I need help.

Alright enough about that. Oh wait one more thing. Have you seen Emma on The Ellen DeGeneres Show? And I just watched Andrew dancing. LOL it was hilarious! And Emma imitated him! Hee it was so cute.

Okay seriously I'll stop talking bout them. 

Now, I just found out who the winners of People's Choice Awards were. Well actually, I found out yesterday but I was too lazy to blog about it. 

Most of the results were quite, well, unexpected. To me at least. I mean, I really thought Twihards wouldn't win, but hey. They did. I didn't really mind that they did. What was - and still is- bothering me was that Emma & Andrew didn't win Favorite On-Screen Chemistry award. I mean, they're also an off-screen couple. How can they not win? And Peeniss and Galeniss won?! No offence to the shippers but seriously? They won? Just, wow. Never thought there were people who could stand love triangle dramas. 

I'm so so so relieved Gangnam Style didn't win Favorite Music Video award. Otherwise I'll throw a fit for two weeks straight. I don't hate it, really. Just annoyed. He won too many awards already so bleh. 

And Emma Watson won Favorite Dramatic Movie Actress award! I'm so proud of her! *Tears up* 

I was hoping Selenators and Potterheads would win but whatever. They won in my hearts. Well not the fans. Wait what? Nevermind. It doesn't make sense, even to me. 

Anyway, I'm kinda happy The Lucky One didn't win Favorite Dramatic Movie award cause, well, it wasn't that good. I mean, it's good. But not that good. Just my opinion. I was hoping The Vow would win tho. But The Perks Of Being a Wallflower's okay I guess. 

Oooh, Leverage won Favorite Cable TV Drama award! I really thought Pretty Little Liars would win. But they didn't. And Leverage did. And it made me so proud to be a fan. Lol what? Okay. 

And Taylor Swift won Favorite Country Artist award again! After the Haylor article, most Swifties left. I thought she wouldn't win the award because of that crap so it made me even more proud when she did win. So congratulations Taylor! 

I still can't believe The Avengers and its casts didn't win any award. Well if you don't count Robert Downey Jr. that is. But he's representing The Iron Man. GRR ScarJo and Emma Stone lost to Jennifer Lawrence! Sheesh, whatever. And I'm pissed The Amazing Spiderman casts didn't win any. Like, GOSH THG GTH. Yeah I despise it that much. With the exception of Peeta Mellark and Glimmer of course. But Emma won two awards last year so I'm not that pissed off. 

I find this picture funny. Man, is Josh really that short? Kinda remind me of the Golden Trio of Harry Potter. One of the differences is, the other one was so much better. But yeah. I had to post this. And goodness I love Liam's eyes, despite my lack of support towards The Hunger Games. 

So here's the link to winners of People's Choice Awards 2013. 

Until then, adios! 

Nothing serious.

Hiya guys! 

 Today was hot. As in sultry hot. 
It's awesome how this year and the last, our class had air conditioner for decorative purpose ONLY. What other purposes were there if they weren't functioning properly anyway? Oh the love the school gives us. You know what they say, love is painful. In case the sarcasm was unnoticed, I didn't mean what I said. 

How hard would it be to make a schedule and print it? Students in most schools or all schools got their timetable within the first week of school. We're not getting any younger here so with all due respect, please hurry the hell up and give us our timetable. 

I know you probably just want us to be a better person but pressurizing is not exactly the smartest method. So chill.

How could they end a teacher's contract without being able to find immediate replacement?! Don't they realize the oral starts in March?! As in, in two months to three months time?! Would it kill us all if you just renew their contracts?! I'm not arguing with your decision--wait I am arguing but you can't just send them away! They're good teachers, man! Think about others you stupid selfish whoever you are! Are you sure you don't need a screw for your brain? Or a screw driver to tighten any loose screws?! Gosh where is Voldemort when you need him to kill. Ugh, sorry can't help it. Too frustrated. Beyond frustrated really. 

That will be all. There will be further complaining on how bad - no, horrible- the office 's managements are. Until then, goodbye. 

Thirst for attention

Hello! So I've been doing some research on humans' desires for attention - and by research I mean bombarding my cousins with questions they reluctantly answered due to my constant pestering. Anyway, I've learnt that teenagers tend to make silly and ridiculous agenda just to catch someone's attention. Have you ever been in such situation as this? The funny thing is we would only feel the embarrassment of doing childish scenes after we've done it. Even worse, we seem to have caught the certain person's attention in a wrong way. In other words, they'll see you as a bad influence. Ain't that frustrating? We would seem to forget about the world whilst chasing someone's attention. Most people don't particularly appreciate attention while others enjoy it. Attention can be nice, when the atttraction is positive. Otherwise it is dreadful. In she-who-must-not-be-named's case, she absolutely hates attention unless it's her certain someone's. She does unthinkable things when it comes to getting his attention. Frankly this phenomenon is quite common among teenagers. So tell me, have you ever had thirst for attention, especially from a special someone, and you can't seem to realise what you are doing in order to soothe the said thirst? If so, you should talk about it with someone you truly trust. It would make you feel better in some ways. I wanted to elaborate this topic further, unfortunately my laptop got confiscated so I'm using iPad which is very uncomfortable and annoying because it keeps changing my sentence. Damn you autocorrect!P Plus I can't remember the rest of the questions and I saved the softcopy on my lappy. Ugh. And I just can't seem to wait til March to post this. Before I start rambling on how bad my day went, I think it's best for all of us if I just end this post here. So, goodbye!

Punishment encouraged by a grudge

Hey you. 

It's been awhile. A lot of things had been happening around here. Oh who am I kidding. Life's been dull. 

It was just the third day of school and we already got punished. Must be some kind of record in my whole twelve years of school. Awesome. Pfft. 

We were wrong, yes. We should be punished, yes. But do you have to tell the whole world about it? Would it hurt you to just keep it to yourself? I mean, what good would it do if you advertise our faults? Did you ever think that it would make matters worse? Students could rebel you know. 

Why do you hate us so much anyway? Was it because of the call? Hah. Do you feel threatened? Cause if you do, don't. Well, don't be IF you're innocent. Do you feel guilty? Were you afraid of losing your title? Double Hah. 

If you could just be so gentle then you should not have felt silly insecurities. How did you achieve the title in the first place anyway? No offence but you seem to be overstepping the other nominees. But whatever. The thing is you need to respect your students' pride and dignity. You can't just go around using that ill-mannered mouth of yours to abuse and embarrass them. That is so wrong in so many levels. I'm sure you're aware of our Prophet's order not to humiliate others. You are a religious teacher, aren't you? 

I see there's no use in furthering this story. You won't understand the whole situation anyway. 

Alrightie then. Goodbye.