The closest thing...

I've always wanted an older sibling. Preferably a brother. 

I think being his slave and punching bag would be worth it if the expectations aren't as high as without. 

And that is why I was a bit irked when my mother sent a spiteful message for..I don't know what he is to me now but let's just call him Gizmo. On his birthday! Which was six days ago mind you. I usually just let things concerning him go after like, a couple of hours but this was just too much. 

You see, seven years ago my mum had this perfect student. He was a polite, thoughtful and well-mannered prefect with  mildly excellent results. His name..is Gizmo - ofcourse not but I'd rather not say his real name. 

My mum was close with all her students. Particularly her 2007 year six students. So almost every holiday breaks, a bunch of them would stay at our home for fun. My mum would treat them like her own children. Well, almost. But yeah. We were close. We played together alot you know. Were being the key word there. After they graduated from primary school, we drifted apart. But not Gizmo. He still hung out in our humble home every now and then with different buddies every time. 

Gizmo's mom passed away. His dad remarried. The only family he had was his sister. If you guys are wondering, he was living with his - I am really not sure what relations they have but yeah - 'brothers'. He didn't go out much cos his 'brothers' had families of their own. And so, my mum would bring him along to celebrate our special occasions like birthdays and whatnot. To watch movies, picnics, parks.  He would even sometimes tag along during our Hari Raya visits. He also calls my parents the way I call them. He was the closest thing I have to a brother. And we weren't even that close. 

But that was a long, long time ago. Some time during his high school years, he got a girlfriend. Like any other typical teenage boys, he changed. He was no longer polite, kind and differently good. He was the same 'poklen' kinda guys. His grades were falling. He didn't show his care much about his religion - which upsets my mum the most. His cute and adorable (he was really, really cute as a kid) changed into...I'd rather not say. Basically everything about him changed. And he was not the least bit guilty about it. 

He and my mum got into a fight one day. After that, he stopped contacting my mum and vise versa. I didn't know why, but I got a bit lonely when he wasn't around. I used to say I didn't appreciate his company but really I was just in denial. I like him around. Eventho he never made an effort to make a longer conversation with me but that was okay too. Being around him makes me feel I have a brother - distant brother, but a brother nonetheless. 

And so the silent treatment continued since...I don't really remember when...until recently. He sent a text to my mum. Saying he was sorry and all for being an imbecile and how he waited for the right time to text her. Unfortunately my mum thought that it was not enough. She had said that "he wasn't what she had expected him to be." I used to agree with what she said but the longer I thought about it, the more sympathy I feel towards him. He told my mum about not having anyone else to talk to about his problems - he is now staying with his father who is really mean to him (I think. Well that was what he said) - and that was enough for me to feel sorry for him and take his side. Yes I do agree with my mother that he has to prove his sincerity in apologizing but saying his faults on his birthday was just plain mean. 

I don't want to take his side but I just can't help it. He sounded so helpless that I just want those years of him being in this family to replay themselves over and over again. 

So Gizmo, if you're reading this, try to swallow your humongous ego and just apologize sincerely. I can help you if you want. Goodluck! I'm sure you miss me too. Haha..okay sorry if I made it awkward. 

I can't believe I didn't come across these sooner!

So there's this couple I've been shipping for like, two years. Yet I haven't been able to fully express it because I am not acquainted with any Mergana shippers. At all. How sad is that. Well
 I do know a couple but over time they chose to pair Katie up with Bradley. Like, what? That's just incest. Well it's actually not but it's still weird. It's like pairing up Bonnie with Rupert. See? Weird, right? 

So yeah I resorted to go online to satisfy my needs to spazz. Tho it's not as satisfying as actually talking about it in real life. Gosh whatever. Anyway I found this vid which was posted ages ago - okay, about thirteen months ago. 



And this too! I'm pretty sure it's a manip - or not - but a girl can dream. 


I found a few - okay a lot - of Mergana fanfics but none of them was as good as...I want them to be. But meh. Their interviews were okay enough. 

Aww I've missed them in Merlin. Before season 4 atleast.

Teething probs..not quite.

Hey. 

You know when your friend stops confiding her problems to you, it does not mean she doesn't want to. She may give you LOTS of incredulous excuses to cover up for the real reasons that may or may not be told. It's not easy to just sit back and watch someone you care about worry. Okay it may be easy for you, but it may not. Whatever the situation is, just calm down and analyze the situation properly. Some tasks might actually be accomplished that way. 

Alright! I decided to just go with the quiz. Thought it'd be fun. 

I watched Thor 2 last week! It was okay. 

I installed a stupid software this morning. Unsuccessfully. Becos the damn software got damaged and corrupted right after I used it once. ONCE! I HAD to like, waste my time to repair it. In the end, it still didn't work so I uninstalled it. I I re-installed it and as you can probably guess, it still wouldn't work. Grrrr I could not open certain files without it! So I had to use other laptops. Which again took the time I was supposed to use for Math revision. The files cannot wait okay? 

And so I was late. I lost track of the time and I was late for the exam. Well, not that late. But late. I was and still is sick today so I was sweating the entire two hours. Yet the external or internal or whatever part of my body feels cold. And I feel nauseous. And I kept screaming mentally in agony because I just can't process what the question wants. Due to the seemingly difficult task my brain was doing at keeping my insides at bay. Ew, I know. And since I ran all the way to the hall okay not all the way I heart was beating irregularly. Weirdly. Unusually. Thus I was anxious so yeah. And the hall was full of people. My place was far from the doors. Furthermore they were closed! So yeah, my lungs fail take in sufficient oxygen for several moments in between the pages. Man I really need to exercise more. And man I need to get a life and stop complaining. Not that I don't alr have one. Well I need another to keep me occupied..not. I so don't need another. 

Anyway I feel really, really bad for not being able to be there. Since I didn't do well either - and it was MATH! - I couldn't. So tell me how to make it up to you. I will do anything. And by anything, I mean anything


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