To think I would be able to have a normal, peaceful day today. I managed to get rid of almost all of my negative thoughts on the exam, seeing as I only need to "work on my skill" for Geo. Not that it's super duper hard. Esp when I don't know where to start. In case the sarcasm goes unnoticed, I don't really mean the hard comment.
Anywaaaay, I was flicking through some boring channels when the phone suddenly rang. Thought it would be some extra classes or smth but nooooooo. It was a Malaysian woman asking for my dad. So I thought. It was my teacher, in some kind of accent. Anyway she told my dad about this Asean quiz going on and I'm going to be taking part in it. Okay I was like, what. Me? Suddenly taking part in an outside activity? Where the hay did that come from? Thought the sch is dead-set on preventing me from participating in any kind of ecas. Well I guess I was proven wrong.
But then again, I don't think so. Because when my sister got home she told me about this English sir at our school who claimed to know me. He was like, "Hey I know your sister. I mentored her when she was a participant of this wordplay competition last two years with three others. We got eighth place." Well actually sir, we were at seventh. Not that it made much difference. And then he went saying that our school was banned from participating in that competition the year afterwards and so on. And I was like, really? Our school banned, or our school was banned? And does it have anything to do with the fact that our sch lost? Cos I think our school body has a like, determination to get rid off all things causing humiliations - including humans, maybe. Idk. I'm just being a smartass here. But whatever. Hope no one from our sch reads this. Hahah. Which I don't have to worry about anyway.
So back to this Asean quiz. I'm not even sure if I want to participate! After knowing Suamp banned - or was banned - from entering this wordplay competition. What if I lose? I always lose quizzes. My only excuse: I only do it for fun so I don't take every one of them seriously. I cannot use that excuse again now can I? But ugh. I thought I was blacklisted from taking parts in any ecas! Now my mind-set is going to get wild again! Thanks to this over-thinking gene I get from someone! Stupid pensive moods. Anyway should I take part? I really don't want to. Seeing as suamp has this craze for good reputations. Yeah every sch has it but this sch is serious. Well that's the way I see it anyway. So let's get to the pros and cons of participating.
Pros:
Nothing really. Just maybe because I hate withdrawing.
Cons:
-It has three stages in which I hate all. The first is written and suck at that. Cos I just cannot seem to take written quizzes seriously. The second is like, I don't know. But it'll be aired on RTB. I hate public attention, not that I think I'll pass stage one cos I can't even beat Mahad last time, let alone MS! Okay now I remember that goddamn awful day! I don't have any excuses for our loss, just that we didn't take it seriously. We're not serious people okay?
-I know I will lose. But if I do win - which I'm sure is only possible if it snows in Bru - I have to compete against nine other countries with two strangers as my teammates! In Vietnam! Ratio of the things I don't mind to things I do, is like, 1:2 here. I don't mind competing because I like competitions. But I hate strangers. And I hate travelling.
-If I lose, the disappointment and embarrassment would be too much for me to handle.
-It starts at the end of Nov which is supposed to be my break and I refuse to get my brain all worked up again after struggling with four major exams this year!
I think the result is obvious here. But heck I love competitions. And I'm not sure how to tell my teacher I don't want to take part. Well that can be solved by asking my mom to call her. Then again, she would say something embarrassing to her seeming as she had already made clear to us that it was her life's second motto nowadays. So I would have to tell her myself which will often result in me chickening out and just go through it and will later regret it when I lose.
Don't get me wrong. I do not mind losing. But this is like, an international quiz! I never go that far! I'm not crazy! Okay maybe I am, a little but ugh. What am I rambling about.
I need a sign! Anything!
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